​​It took me a long time to forgive myself after this happened to our family. Many parents feel overwhelming guilt, replaying what happened, wondering how they could have prevented it or done things differently. I felt the same. But the truth is, this is happening to many families. In my community, parents often approach me looking for advice and reassurance after similar experiences. It’s incredibly upsetting when it happens to your child. There is so much online content that even the most careful families can’t catch everything.

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According to the Children’s Commissioner for England (2023), 1 in 10 children have seen pornography by the age of 9.

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Many parents worry about what their children might see online, especially pornography or indecent images. Talking about this can feel uncomfortable at first, but it becomes easier with practice. After what happened to my son, I now speak to my younger children in age-appropriate ways. I would rather they hear it from me than from someone else.

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I explained it like this: “There are good pictures and bad pictures on the internet.” We talked about examples of both. They mentioned scary things like zombies and clowns, and I added that sometimes adults put naked pictures of their private parts online. They found this strange and asked why. I explained that some adults do this for other adults, but it’s wrong for children, and if they ever see something like that, they should turn it off and tell me straight away.

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There is no single right or wrong approach, it’s a personal decision for each family. But given how young children are when they first encounter porn, I want my children to recognise it, know it’s wrong, and feel confident turning away from it.

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Children are often not seeking this content. They may come across it through social media, adverts, pop-ups, searches, or other children sharing it. Parents have told me about explicit pop-ups appearing on YouTube during audiobooks, searches for anime leading to adult content, or children being shown images without understanding how harmful they are. These children are not looking for this.

If the content appeared on your own device, start by checking that:

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• How to set parental controls here

• How to set wifi security here

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How to help your child:

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• Start off by reading this: Your Kid Accidentally Saw Explicit Content Online — Now What?

• Stay calm. Take a breath before responding. Your reaction shapes how safe your child feels.

• Start with reassurance. “Thank you for telling me. You’re not in trouble. I’m really glad you came to me. I’m sorry you saw that, it can be scary and upsetting.”

• Explain what porn is in simple, honest terms.
  Porn is made for adults. It’s not real life, the people are actors, and it doesn’t show love, healthy relationships, or respect. It can be confusing, frightening, or harmful for children whose brains and emotions are still developing.

• Release shame. bMany children come across this accidentally. It doesn’t mean your child did anything wrong.

• Correct misinformation without fear. Ask how they felt and let them talk. Confusion, curiosity, shock, or upset are all normal responses.

• Set gentle boundaries. Explain that you want to protect them from seeing things that feel overwhelming. Go through settings together.

• Leave the door open. Reassure them that they can always come to you, and you won’t be angry. Thank them for telling yo

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